31 December 08 - New Beginnings

So I'm ending this year in a pretty unique way. I'm sitting in a little sandbox called Kuwait. It's not exactly the most appealing place to spend new years eve, but being here has great implications.....I'M DONE!!!!

That's right. I'm on my way back to the states. I've left Afghanistan for what I hope to be the last time. I still have a few weeks at Ft. Lewis before I'll actually go home, but I'm one step closer.

I've had an interesting year, and will probably have an even more interesting year to come. I have a wife to get reacquainted with, a baby girl to meet and raise, a career to find, and a million other things. It'll be just as challenging as the last year was (and even more rewarding).

22 December 08 - Anniversary

Today's Nikki's and my anniversary. I really wish that I could be home for it.

Luckily for Nikki and me, my parents are going to take Nikki out for dinner (if the snow lets up). If they do that, then at least she won't have to be alone for the day. I owe my family a humongous thank you for all the help that they've given us. They've fixed things, painted, visited, and just been there for us during this whole deployment. It has been immensely easier to get through this time with their help.

Nikki has been such a trooper, too. She's maintained a positive attitude for the whole deployment. I don't know how she's able to handle being all by herself with a baby on the way, but somehow she does. Not only does she manage by herself, but she's been a constant support for me, too. It's so nice to be able to call home after a frustrating day and have at least one positive conversation.

I love you and miss you so much, Nikki. I can't wait to be home with you again. Happy anniversary.

08 December 08 - AFHRP

I have become one of select few members of the army who have been selected for AFHRP (Army Facial Hair Replacement Program). The results are outstanding.

Before


After

You too can participate in AFHRP and enjoy results similar to those I enjoy.

Please send 6-8 years of your life to:

Uncle Sam
200 Boot Camp Ave.
Camp Nowhere, USA

Our customer service representatives are eager to assist you.

29 October 08 - Picture tags quesionnaire

I google image searched some facts about me. Interesting results:

First Name

Middle Name

Nickname

Age

(TV series 24)

Occupation

(I wish I could explain that)

Birthplace

Current Place of Residence

Former Residence

Best Friend

(If only this Nikki was as good looking as my Nikki)

29 October 08 - Promotions and Awards

Today I got a promotion and an award. The award was actually "awarded" about a month ago, but it just took a while for the certificate to find me. It was for my "tenacious decisiveness" that "led to the capture" of a high value target. Really it was for being in the right place at the right time. It's strange that I see other things that I have done as more deserving of recognition and see that particular moment as mere coincidence. Honestly, I see others who have done much more than me who go completely unrecognized. Strange. I guess that's how life is sometimes. We work hard and nobody notices. Yet when we get lucky everybody seems to notice. Unfortunately, oftentimes the attention lucky people get isn't always positive.

I was also promoted. Well, the promotion was offered to me. I declined. Just kidding. Of course I accepted. I'll get a bit more pay and a lot more responsibility - that's how it works, right?

All in all I'd say today was a very benificial day toward the career that I have vowed to end when I get home.

24 October 08 - Random Pic

I decided to follow the random picture tag trend. This is the fourth picture of my fourth picture folder.















This is a random marketplace or bazaar. It's empty because we'd just conducted a raid on a bad guy's house. Usually they're bustling with people.

23 October 08 - 3 Things about me

The original is "8 Things About Me," but honestly, I don't think I even watch 8 TV shows EVER, so we're going with 3.

3 Favorite TV Shows:
The Office
Survivor Man (Man vs Wild isn't hardcore enough, it's all staged)
Mythbusters

3 Things I did yesterday:
Cleaned my rifle
Moved - for the fourth time in a week
Planned a foot patrol mission

3 Things I look forward to:
Going home (it's been almost a year)
My baby (I can't wait)
Calling my wife

3 Favorite Restaurants:
Black Angus
Brick oven pizza
Wendy's

3 Things on my wish list:
A complete house renovation
A holster for my gun
A better choice for president

16 October 08-Thankful Thursday

So now that I've had a WHY-ny Wednesday, it's time for a Thankful Thursday.

• The internet-Man it's nice to be able to keep up with my friends and family back home. I don't know how soldiers did it with a letter a month or two months. I've also started online classes so I can finish my Bachelors. Without the internet here, I'd be pretty stretched for ways to continue my education
• Sleep-If you've red my last post, you've seen that I haven't had much of it in the last few days. It was so nice to finally get a full nights sleep.
• Gratitude-I was told thank you today. I don't get that often here, so it felt real nice. I think I'll make it a point to be more grateful, because if I don't see it, it's likely that others don't either.
  

15 October 08 - Whiny Wednesday

I've been trying to be really positive in my blogs lately, but I feel like I could use a little venting. So, without further ado, I give you WHY-NY WEDNESDAY:

• WHY do things always get really really busy as soon as you're put in charge? I've been second in command of my unit for some time. The man in charge just went home on leave, so I'm in charge now. It seems that as soon as he left, things got crazy. I've been incredibly busy for the last few days and I'm not sure what's so different. Some of the absolute strangest things have been happening. I wish I could give examples, but if I told you I'd have to kill you.
• WHY do people who are supposed to "support" you always back out when it's convenient for them? My three man team got stuck pulling guard duty for a detainee for 20 hours while the hundred man unit that is supposed to provide "needed support" said they were too busy to help. Now I understand that they have obligations, but when I've had four hours of sleep in two days and am still pulling guard duty while I can see a dozen guys with nothing to do sitting around a fire thirty feet from me smoking and joking, I get kind of aggravated. It took me another day and a half to catch up on all the work that I missed while I was pulling guard. Hopefully tonight I can catch up on the missed sleep.
• WHY do people who have no idea what they're talking about insist that you're doing your job wrong? I'm the expert in my field, not you. Let me do my job. I don't tell the cook how to make spaghetti, why should he tell me how to run my operations?

Please, don't get me wrong. I love my job and feel a lot of gratification from it. I just have a limited audience to vent to here, so I'll vent into cyberspace.

08 October 08 - Thankful Thursday (on wednesday)

Today is a special thankful Thursday. I'm grateful for:

• My best friend - Your support has been constant. It's been a mainstay for this entire deployment.
• My confidant- When nobody else will listen, I can talk to you
• My hero - Your strength in times of difficulty has been an example for me.
• My inspiration - Even at your weakest you exceed my strengths. I can only hope to be half the person you are.
• My wife - You are all of the above. Happy Birthday.

02 October 08 - Thankful Thursday

It's thursday again:

• Midday naps. I don't get them often, but man it's nice to relax and have a little nap.

• Weight rooms. Good exercise is a great stress relief. There's a great weight room here, so I get to release a lot of stress.

• Honest people. The army has a tendency to attract liars. It seems like every local I encounter tells me what he thinks I want to hear rather than the truth. It's like a breath of fresh air when I talk to somebody and they tell things how they are.

• Good interpreters. They're hard to come by, believe me.
  

25 September 08 - Thankful Thursday

Check it out. Two in a row. So what am I thankful for this week...

• Salad - I will never grow tired of a good salad. Army food is never very appealing, so a good salad is just about the highlight of a meal. We only have good veggies once in a while, so it's a rare treat.
  

• V8 - Besides salad, the army's veggies are always so cooked it's just about impossible to get any nutritional value out of them. V8 is a huge help.

• IPOD - Army life can be summed up as energetic outbursts of activity surrounded by what seems like endless waiting. Having an IPOD helps that time go by.

• Care Packages - Hint, Hint.
  

18 September 2008 - Thankful Thursday

So everybody these days seems to do this thankful Thursday thing. I've been hesitant to join the craze. However, I've noticed (and some of you have pointed out) that I've been venting a bit in my blog. So I figured that some expressions of gratitude couldn't hurt. Here goes:

• My job: There are over 200 MOS's (jobs) in the military that I could have picked from when I joined. I'm incredibly grateful that at 17 years old, I at least possessed the intellect to choose mine. I've had incredible experiences and have done things that I'll never forget. Not every soldier is able to say that he likes what he does. I'm glad that I have that privilege. There's nothing better than seeing the results of your work.

• Blackwater: These guys often get a bad wrap. Yes, some of them have done some stupid things, but so have members of every community/corporation. The ones that I've worked with have been incredible. Their professionalism, respect, and hard work have contributed greatly to this area.

• Care packages: It's just great when you get a little reminder in the mail that your family and friends haven't forgotten you. (No, this is not a plea...but it wouldn't hurt)

That'll do it for this time. Wouldn't want to list everything that I'm thankful for all at once.

15 September 08 - Control Freaks

Everybody, I'm sure, knows a control freak; they're everywhere. The army is no exception. In fact, if I dare say so, the army has more. It breeds control freaks.

Here's my tribute to the three major control freaks that I most recently encountered:

To the cook who won't let me eat dinner until exactly 5:00 - The foods sitting out in self-serve bins, silly! You'll do less work by letting me serve myself some food than by standing there trying to act like your important enough to tell me I can't eat yet.

To the man who refuses to pass on my request for air support for soldiers taking fire because my request has spelling errors in it - Get your act priorities together man! Your obsession over having absolute control over every report that goes up could cost people their lives.

To the man who won't let me step outside the base gate to help people who just got in a car wreck - They're hurt and they need my help...yours too. Don't try to interdict and stop me from doing my job and my responsibility as a human being just because your afraid of the boogie man.


Sorry about venting. I'm just getting tired of people trying absurdly hard to exert control over me when they have no logical reason to do it.

13 September 08 - It's a girl!

No this is not a repeat of my previous blog entry. My sister recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The two chose not to find out what the baby was before it was born, but they had a sneaking suspicion that it would be a girl.

Congratulations!

03 September 08 - It's a girl!

Nikki had her ultrasound yesterday. We found out that we're having a girl. I was pretty convinced that we'd have a boy, but I'm just excited that we have a healthy baby. I'm not sure how the doctor could tell it's a girl. It still looks like a little alien to me.


Nikki and I are both really excited for the baby. We're hoping that the army will be gracious enough to let me go home for the birth, but we'll just have to wait and see.

30 August 08 - MasCas

We had a Mass Casualty Exercise yesterday (mascas for short). Though the exercise itself is useful, it's a pain in the neck. I knew that there would be one during the day, but the specific time was withheld for suprise's sake. And, of course, I forgot it was going to occur.

I was in the middle of writing an important report when things started "exploding" outside. I knew that it wasn't actually mortars or rockets because the explosions were too small, but I was just concerned enough to remember to go to my post. I threw on my "battlrattle" (helmet, armor, rifle, pistol) and went to my fighting position. As I sat there, I remembered that we were having the exercise, so I relaxed and settled in (they always take a while).

An hour and a half later the all-clear was given and I went back to my report. I'd just showered and put on clean clothes right before starting my report, and I returned to it filthy from having laid in the dirt for over an hour. Of course, just to make the exercise a little more inconvenient, the power had gone out for a moment in the exercise, shutting down the computer I was working on and losing all my work.

Moral of the story - save often.

25 August 08 - Politics in War

Yes, I realize it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I've been around and well, but I was subjected to what is called a communications blackout. Basically what that means is that no soldier is allowed to call, write, or email home until the "blackout" is lifted. The reason the blackouts are instigated is usually because a soldier somewhere got hurt or killed, so the army doesn't want anybody writing home until the family of the casualty is informed. Unfortunately, the blackouts apply to all soldiers under a single Task Force, meaning that if a person who I don't know and have never heard of and is 100's of miles away from me gets hurt, I can't call or write home. The logic is sound, but the method is horrible. Case in point - I have known only 2 of the last 20 soldiers that were involved in incidents that sparked blackouts, meaning that I wouldn't have anything to write home about anyway. Second, hearing that there's a blackout only makes people wonder. Everytime somebody says we're in blackout status I think, "Who got hurt?" If I was told nothing, I would be none the wiser. Third, I tell people that I'll try to call on certain days, so when I don't call, they start worrying and wondering if I'm all right.

Also, since I'm on my soapbox, what's with all the political games we play messing up successes, no matter how small, of soldiers. For example, not too long ago I was part of a group that captured an insurgent who was high on a "wanted list". Not a week later this individual was let go because of a political game with corrupt officials. I have a hard time tolerating my work being undone because the man I captured has dirt on a governor or mayor or some scumbag politician who bought his position with dirty money. It's hard to fight a war for people (meaning politicians) and those who put them in power (meaning voters) who are trying to fight a war devoid of adverse consequences. I am often aggravated by news articles condemning the war because there was a bombing or a firefight that resulted in the death of civilians. Well guess what, I don't like it either, but when insurgents run into a house and shoot at soldiers from it, they blow it up. If there's somebody inside, sorry. But we're not going to, nor should we have to, leave terrorists alone just because the person housing them might get hurt. People die in war, and they're unfortunately not always soldiers. Until the average politician, voter, or any person can accept that we'll just run in circles playing a political game that we gave the misnomer "war".

Sorry about the rant, but I had to get it off my chest. I don't claim to have a golden answer that will make all our problems in the middle east go away (I don't believe a win-win solution for all exists), but at least I'm doing the best I can until someone by some miracle finds it.

19 August 08 - Mobile Phones

My life here would be a lot harder if not for the mobile phone. I have a cell phone of my own here and it's a great asset. I can call my wife, my mom (except she's never home), or just about anybody I want. However, the mobile phone has one issue in the middle east...it's not that mobile.

For example: My phone works in only three locations on my FOB. That means if I want to talk to anybody, I have to be inside three points that are all about the size of a phone booth.

Also: In order for anybody to get a hold of me, I need (of course) to be inside one of my invisible phone booths. Since the phone booths are off the beaten path, chances are that I won't be reachable unless I'm already using the phone, in which case I probably don't want to be bothered by another phone call.

Finally: (This doesn't really apply to the mobile factor) The network here goes down on a regular basis. I'll never know if the phone will work until I wander to my phone booth and try it out. Usually it does, but for the last 4 days or so it hasn't.

Despite their shortcomings, cell phones are great to have here.

15 August 08 - Range Day

Today was a nice, slow day. We had a range day. That's when we go to the shooting range and ensure that our weapons are all still zeroed (sighted in). I got a new sight for my M4. It's an ACOG. My old sight was a CCO, which has no magnification. The ACOG, however has 4x magnification. End result - I was more accurate and could acquire targets faster.

I wanted to see how much faster, so I tried out the army's 15 meter simulated qualification test. In this test you are given 40 rounds to try to hit 20 small targets that are 15 meters away twice each in 2 iterations that last 2 minutes. It basically simulates shooting at 40 targets for 4 minutes. It's not difficult, but it's a good way to see how accurate and fast you are. In order to make it a bit more fair (since I had magnification), I situated myself 25 meters back instead of 15. It didn't matter a bit. I hit all 40 targets in about 2 minutes, getting a perfect score in half the allotted time. Normally it'd take me at least 3 minutes, but just having that magnification greatly simplifies things.

12 August 08 - Goats and Money

Have you ever been asked to watch a man's goat? Today I was added to the short list of americans who have. A midget came to the FOB today and asked me if I could watch his goat for him. I'm not sure why he chose to ask me, but all I could say was, "Sorry, we don't do that hear." After a moment of reflection, the guy looked up at me and said, "Ok, then can I have 400 dollars?" I laughed out-loud. My interpreter was giggling a little bit too. I had to ask, so I said, "What do you need 400 dollars for and why do you think that I'd give it too you." He said, "Well the americans are here to help right? I need 400 dollars so I can buy some guns."
I asked, "Do you have a permit for those guns?"
-"No"
-"Then I guess I can't help you."
At this point I thought that the conversation was over, but I was wrong.
-"Can I have 400 dollars anyway?"
-"What do you want it for, now?" (I couldn't resist.)
-"I'll think of something."
I tried to think up an answer that he could clearly understand, but just couldn't. I opened my mouth to speak a couple times, but nothing came out. He just kept looking up at me with puppy eyes. After a bit I just succumbed to the irresistible urge to laugh. I just laughed, shook my head, then walked away. I didn't know what else to do.

11 August 08 - Cobras and Scorpions

Today was basically my day off. Didn't do much, just designed a little logo for our team. We're all pretty big fans of GI Joe, so we decided to branch a bit off of that. So here's the new team "logo".















For those of you who are not familiar with GI Joe, the cobra design is from the bad guys on GI Joe. I added the M4's. The logo "Knowing is Half the Battle" is of course GI Joe's logo. It's a little crude and will take some reworking, but I think it looks pretty good.

I had a copy of Adobe Photoshop on my computer for over a year, but never really got around to figuring it out until the idea of a logo was suggested. I've been fighting with photoshop, but did managed to create this. Given more time, I think they'll improve.

Now for the scorpion. The other day one of the interpreters here found a scorpion.














He gave it to a guy who's know on the FOB as being the "Steve Irwin" around here. He played with the scorpion for a couple hours. We all reminded him what happened to the original Crocodile Hunter, so he relented and backed off a bit. (By the way, not unlike Steve Irwin, our man was actually stung by a scorpion a few weeks ago, and just like the Hunter, the sting and the resulting week in the hospital didn't even phase him.) I managed to tease the scorpion a bit. Here's a clip from my taunting him.



One suggestion, when videoing a scorpion, use the zoom to get close instead of just getting close. Otherwise, you'll find out like I did that an angry scorpion moves pretty quick.

Other than making logos and torturing scorpions, things are egoing pretty much the same as usual.

09 August 2008 - Crash Pics

09 Aug 2008 - Crash!

So I was sitting in the office today when I heard screeching tires followed by a distinct BOOM!! I've heard screeching tires outside on the highway a lot, but I never heard the much anticipated crash afterwards. So I went outside just in time to catch a giant cloud of dust to the face.

Turns out that a truck tried to pass a car that was going too slow, hit a car in the oncoming traffic lane, and was slammed back into the right lane. The car that the truck was trying to pass had no time to react, so it slammed into the truck, literally climbing up on top of it. The two now-mated cars slammed into the HESCO barrier that separates our base and the highway just outside my office, creating the giant cloud of dust that I swallowed.

Nobody was seriously injured. There were some cuts and bruises and one guy may have had a broken foot, so we told them all to go to the nearest hospital and get checked out by a doctor. I took some pictures (I'll post them later) "for records' sake".

So that's the latest and greatest.

08 Aug 08 - 7 years and counting

Well, today is my seven year anniversary of my enlistment into the United States Army and Army National Guard. A lot has happened in those seven years. But looking back, I don't think I'd trade them for anything. This deployment and the year before it, I dare say, have influenced me more than the others (those are the years that I was in the army and married). In a way, you're married to the army and to your wife. Over those last couple years I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've come to realize that a married soldier is basically a bigamist - and bigamy is really difficult. Living with one wife is time consuming and can be challenging, but living with two (actual wife + army) is especially difficult. (This is in no way a knock on my wife, she's the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.)

I've been told that wives eventually get used to having their husbands married to them as well as to the army and that Nikki will eventually get used to the pace of the army.

I don't want her to get used to it. I like her the way she is.

So I recently came to the conclusion that I can't live with two wives. It's too difficult. So I'm going to have to keep one of them and divorce the other. And, you know, even though I've had a longer relationship with the army than Nikki, and even though the army writes my checks and Nikki spends them, I get more out of my relationship with Nikki. So, I'm going to have to divorce the army. Unfortunately, the army doesn't accept divorces. Instead there's a bit of a prenuptial agreement - we go for eight years then decide if we want to continue our marriage. So I'm going to have to finish my eight years (one more to go) and end the deal.

Don't get me wrong. I love the army. It's been a great experience. I've learned things and gained experiences and friends that I would never have been able to without it. But it's taxing and time consuming. Perfect for the single type, not for the married.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to braindump. I feel better now.

05 July 2008 - leave

I'm going on leave! That's R&R or time off. I leave (no pun intended) some time in the next couple of days and I'll be home for a couple of weeks.

Nikki and I are going to get a cabin for about a week of the time and the other week we'll do the usual rounds to see the fam.

I'm really excited to see Nikki. She's been having a hard time living alone while she's pregnant. The dog takes care of her, but that's just not enough sometimes.

I'm really not sure what we'll do. I've been kind of avoiding making plans since I'm not a fan of vacationing on a schedule.

27 June 08 - Baby

Well guess what. Nikki's pregnant again. She's been pregnant for about 11 weeks now, and all is going well. We were quite worried for the first few weeks, especially the week 8 area. That's when we lost the other 2 pregnancies. Now that we've passed the 8 week mark, we're getting really excited.


Nikki went to the doctor yesterday and had an ultrasound today. Everything's perfectly normal. The baby's 35.6 mm long and has a heart rate of 161. It looks like a little golf-ball size alien. Everybody thinks it's a girl, but I'm kind of hoping for a boy. Honestly, though, I just want a baby with no more problems. I'll take what I can get.

This evenings quite an interesting one. There's a lightning storm in the mountains near us. It's pretty crazy because the sky's constantly lit up. It might work its way over to where I'm staying.

As far as the war is concerned, things are pretty calm in my region. Honestly, our base has only been attacked once by mortars (and they were way inaccurate) and that's it. I haven't fired a shot (and I'd like to keep it that way).

25 May 08 - Kabobs

Today some of the locals came to the base that I'm staying at and gave us kabobs.

They butchered a couple of sheep right then and there and cooked it up for us. They also played a bunch of local music for us. It was pretty cool, a little weird mind you, but neat.

The last week or so has been pretty neat. We've been extremely busy, but that actually helps the time go by faster.

Oh, one piece of bad news. The man in charge of lodging and logistics at the base I'm staying at may have received serious brain trauma today. He was riding around on a little four-wheeler that we use for light duties on the base and rolled it. He was sent to a bigger base with a hospital by helicopter. We're all hoping that he'll be all right.

When people think of soldiers injured while overseas, they usually don't think of the simple accidents like this one that happen. It's too bad, but they happen too; maybe more than than the bloody gory war wound incidents that we hear of on the news.

Anyway, accidents aside, things here are going great. One thing's for sure: it's just plain nice to be doing my job.

20 May 08 - I'm here!!

Sorry I haven't updated this for a few days. I've been really busy. I've finally arrived at my home for the next few months. I dare say that it's a good place and that I'm excited to be here. The best part of it all is that I'm finally able to go to work and do my job. If there's one thing that will make this deployment go quicker, it's being busy.

I'm really excited to be working with the units that are stationed here. They're all really great guys and are quite cooperative. I was honestly a bit nervous about being assigned to a difficult unit, but these guys aren't bad.

The food sucks though. (I guess you can't have everything.)

Anyway, more updates will follow.

13 May 08 - Waiting

If there's one thing that the military does to soldiers, it's that it teaches them to hate waiting. It's not just that soldiers wait a lot more than civilians, but that we're rushed into it (if that makes sense.) In the army there's a saying, "hurry up and wait", that is an extremely accurate description of what a soldier goes through more often than not.

Case in Point

Yesterday I was told that at 4:00 a.m. today I would be leaving for the area in which I'll be working for the next 8 - 12 months. Today at 3:00 a.m I awoke and packed my bags to board a helicopter. After packing my bags I put them outside and waited for a truck to take them and me to the local airstrip. At 6:00 a.m. two hours after I was supposedly "leaving", the truck arrived. I and the other soldiers who were leaving put our bags on the truck to the near musical accompaniment of our first sergeant who was hollering for us "hurry up" because we were "already two hours late!" As if it was our fault the truck came late.

At 6:30 a.m. we finally arrived at the airstrip, where we promptly waited another hour for a chopper that would arrive at any moment.

At 7:30 a.m. we took our bags outside to the airstrip because the chopper was ready.

At 8:00 a.m., after waiting a half hour for some random guys approval, we loaded the bags on the chopper.

At 8:30 a.m. we were told that the flight was canceled and we'd have to wait until another time to leave. So we unloaded all our gear and waited another hour for a ride back to the tent that we're waiting in.

Hurry up and wait.

The good news is that at least I'll get hot food for a couple more days.

08 May 08 - Arrival

I arrived in my country of service on the 5th of May. The flight over lasted almost a day and a half, so I actually skipped May 4th. There was a lot of hype about landing in a combat zone, but the landing was actually kind of tame. We were told what to do if we were under fire while landing, how to react and all sorts of stuff, but the actual landing went as smooth as any commercial jetliner.

For now I'm at a temporary duty station. I'm basically getting some last minute training and am filling out paperwork and listening to briefings while I wait for my flight to my actual duty station. It's boring most of the time, honestly, but I know that once I get to my final location that the pace will pick up and things will start moving.

11 - 19 Apr 08 - Validation

For a bit more than the past week I've been away from my computer. I've been doing what's called validation. Validation is the last stage of your mobilization training. It's like your final exam at the end of a semester of school.

We were tested on everything from the simplest of tasks (shooting, physical fitness, driving) to more complex battle drills and our various job related tasks. Honestly, it was the best part of all the training I've had here. Rather than deal with an hour of training preceded and followed by 4 or 5 hours of waiting we were basically doing a giant simulation of a realworld mission. We were generally busy, and always applying our skills and training.

I learned more over the last week than I've probably learned over the previous month.

On a different note, I'm getting really excited about seeing my wife. I get to come home for a bit of time off before I head off to the big "sandbox" of the middle east. All I can say is that it's been a long time coming.

08 Apr 08 - SRM

Today we conducted SRM, Short Range Marksmanship. Talk about some real useful training. Though the drills and training are simple, they are definitely crucial to a soldiers duties. The training drills are designed to create a soldier who can effectively engage an enemy at short range while walking, turning, kneeling, standing, ect. Considering the urban environments in which the conflicts in the middle east take place, the ability for a soldier to engage targets at short range is more vital than ever.

The training was great. I learned some new tricks of the trade and was able to work out some minor kinks.

I'm getting more and more excited for the time off that I'll have in a couple weeks. I haven't seen Nikki for over a month and am missing her tons. We talk on the phone every day, but it's just not the same (especially for one who is as worthless in a phone conversation as I).

07 Apr 08 - FOB Defense

For the past few days we've been learning the basics of FOB Defense. A FOB is a Forward Operating Base. It's basically a small military base.

The training was really good, which is really nice. We learned about checkpoints, traffic control points, vehicle and personnel searches, etc. They're all things that I'd learned in the past, but it's nice to have a good review.

I'm definitely gaining an appreciation for the reality of the upcoming deployment. It's finally really sinking in that I'm going overseas to a war zone.

03 Apr 08 - IED Training

Today we had IED training. An IED is an Improvised Explosive Device or as the civilian world calls them, roadside bombs. The training was pretty good, and it really heightened my awareness of IED's. In the end, there's not a lot you can do to control your exposure to IED's. If a terrorist is good at what he does, then you probably won't spot it. I guess it makes you realize that your job as a soldier is serious and that there are certain risks that every soldier takes when he volunteers for the job. Sometimes we soldiers try to make believe that we can control every situation that we get into. But the truth is that we can't control everything. We do all we can to mitigate the risks that are associated with the business, but we must admit that sometimes there are things that are just out of our control.

Even if there are certain risks that we can't control, we still have to press on and do our job. I guess that's what they pay us the big bucks for. (I'm kidding, we're grossly underpaid)

2 Apr 08 - Language Training

Today the absurd happened.

Last night we had our daily review of the following day's plans. At the meeting we were told that today we would be participating in the second part of our two-part language training. (Language training is where we learn a bit of the language of the country that we'll be visiting.) Several soldiers, including myself were a bit disconcerted about this training. You see, we'd already been to both parts of the training and were not excited about repeating the same boring thing twice. We mentioned that we'd already received day 2 of language training but were quickly shot down. We were told that this was totally different than the training we'd received and that we'd go.

Well we went. And as soon as roll was called we discovered that we were not on the roll and were not supposed to be in attendance (we'd already received that training, you see). A bit upset, but not to distraught, we attempted to arrange transportation back to the barracks. We called the commander, who, oddly enough, told us that we were not to return. He said that since we were scheduled for the training, even if we had already received it and were not allowed to attend, we still had to be there, and therefore denied us transportation the 10 miles or so back to the barracks. Now I know this makes no sense to the average civilian, but it makes perfect army logic. So, my comrades and I just sat outside (since we couldn't attend the class that we were ordered to attend). Eventually a high ranking individual showed up and asked us why we were sitting on his lawn. After we explained the situation to him he exclaimed, "Why that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" and ordered us to leave. So we embarked on a 10 mile walk back to the barracks.

Luckily only 1/2 mile into the journey we spotted a van that was driven by a guy from our company. We flagged him down, explained the situation and got a ride back to the barracks.

Typical day in army training.

1 Apr 08 - Convoy ops

Sorry about the huge gap in my blog. The last 2 weeks have been just plain hectic. We went to a different training site where we conducted convoy operations (conops). Conops is a really important part of any soldiers training. If you plan on ever driving anywhere in a war zone you had better understand conops. The training was some of the best that I've received here. Usually, we have a bunch of down time and don't get much done, but for this block we were more than busy.

To be honest, there wasn't a ton going on worth special note, we just kept busy. One thing's for certain, though. I am glad to be eating at a cafeteria and away from MRE's, even if it is for just a while. MRE's are Meals Ready to Eat. It's the army's idea of a sack lunch. Except this sack lunch never goes rotten. You'll find bread, meat and fruit that lasts for 2 years. I wonder what they put in the things to make them last that long (nothing good for you, I'm sure). The best part about MRE's is what they do to your digestive system. Everybody reacts differently, but everybody certainly reacts.

So, as I previously stated, it's great to have some real food.

15 Mar 08 - Snoreman, Toothgrinder, and Close-talker

Today I acquired a new nickname - "Snoreman". Turns out that last night I was snoring up a storm. I honestly only snore when I'm really tired or just uncomfortable, and apparently last night I was a bit of both. I guess the snoring was so loud that the guy sleeping in the bunk nearest mine was awakened at about 2:30 AM. In an attempt to wake me up so I'd stop snoring, he threw his kevlar helmet at my bunk. Luckily he missed. I didn't wake up.
There are other nicknames floating around. Snoreman is far from the worst. I guess there's another soldier here who grinds his teeth at high volume when he sleeps. He has since been dubbed "toothgrinder".

Another soldier who is hear was caught trying to flirt with a disinterested female today. He was sitting way too close for her comfort, and it was apparent that she was uncomfortable and becoming annoyed with his lack of respect concerning space bubbles. We accordingly named him "close-talker".

I guess this new trend of giving out nicknames is due to the soldiers desperation for entertainment. We're so hard up for something to laugh at that we invent stupid nicknames for each other.

14 Mar 08 - Logic Prevails

Today an amazing thing happened. Logic prevailed after all. The evil bureaucrats consented to allow us to not wear our body army at the training site since we would just drop it off to sit in a classroom. I know this sounds silly, but commands this logical are few and far between.

However, there is one illogical thing that I'm trying to comprehend. The army recently revised its PT uniform. Earlier, it was just flat gray shirt and shorts. But, since there was a chance of soldiers getting hit by cars while running in their non-reflective gear, the army created a highly reflective uniform. While the new uniforms were still being invented, soldiers had to wear these gay reflective bands with the old gray one. Once the new, reflective uniform was issued, however, the army failed to rescind the order concerning the wear of the reflective band. So, soldiers run around with this practically glow-in-the dark PT uniform as well as a reflective band. A bit of overkill, I'd say.

Training is going pretty well all-in-all. I'm learning a lot, and feel more prepared for the upcoming deployment every day. I really miss my wife, though. I get more and more excited for my upcoming leave. I find myself getting a little cranky from time to time. I think the fact that I'm away from wife and home has something to do with it.

13 Mar 08 - I brought my armor because...?

Today we went to a training site about 30 miles from our base of operations. The head honchos insisted that everybody wear their IBA (individual body armor) to the training. We weren't sure what the logic behind the command was, but we did it anyway. We arrived at the training site and immediately dropped off all our armor in a tent, then went to a different tent for training.

After training was over, we got our armor on and went home.

We asked a few questions and found out that nobody really knows why we're required to wear our armor to the training. I have a theory, though. That site is used on occasion as a battle tactics training site. Obviously you would want to wear your armor to battle training, so it was required to wear at the facility at all times. However, since a handful (most, actually) of the soldiers that train at that site are just doing classroom work, they're allowed to shed it upon arrival.

To be honest, I really like the body armor. It has had a lot of improvements done to it over the last few years. It doesn't weigh too much and is pretty comfortable, granted you have limited mobility. However, I find it ironic that the army developed the most modern armor they could conjure, and it still looks just like medieval stuff, just lighter.

10 Mar 08 - Death by Powerpoint

You have to have served in the military within the past 10 years to fully comprehend the term "death by powerpoint". It's something genuinely military. Many people consider a couple of hours at a corporate meeting or at school to be a difficult experience. Well, let me introduce you to the military's rules of powerpoint (ab)use.

1. All powerpoint presentations must be ridiculously long. A civilian "expert" may tell you that powerpoint presentations should be no more then 30 or so slides. Well, that's grossly wrong. Here in the military it is mandatory that there be at least 150 slides per presentation.

2. All presentations must be read word for word to the listeners. Civilians may be perfectly capable of reading and comprehending slides by themselves, but soldiers are not. All military presentations must be read to the viewers word for word in a slow, monotone voice to ensure maximum powerpoint killing power.

3. Each slide must be grossly cluttered. The conventional wisdom that calls for 3 or 4 lines of text that are 5 to 10 words long is a waste of perfectly good space and is just not acceptable. We must attack our powerpoint slides with 3 or 4 or more paragraphs of text. Every presentation must have at least 6 slides that are entirely covered with size 8 font. These slides, like all others, must be read verbatim to all who are present (see rule 2).

4. Technical terms and jargon must be as vague as possible. It is mandatory that nobody immediately understands the meaning of terms in your presentation. Simple, easily understood names and jargon would undermine the necessity and plausibility of having 150 slides in your presentation. Therefore terms such as "human trafficking" or "slavery" must become "trafficking in persons" and "Velcro" must become "hook and button fastener".

5. All presentations must contain at least 50 acronyms, 40 of which must have multiple applications. At least 5 of the acronyms must also be longer in acronym form than in word form. The briefer must at least pretend to know what the acronyms stand for. If asked the meaning of an unknown acronym, the presenter must immediately make up a meaning, thereby improving his versatility.

6. The presenter must not rehearse or prepare his presentation. We in the military must always be able to perform our tasks with minimal effort. Therefore, rehearsal of powerpoint presentations prior to delivery is strictly forbidden. In fact, to ensure that no rehearsal is performed, presenters must download, steal, or at least borrow their presentations from others. He/she is not allowed to view his/her own presentation until the briefing. Once giving the presentation, the briefer must read each slide to himself/herself as it is presented, pause to grasp its meaning, then read it aloud to the crowd. Then, to prove his/her competence, the briefer must have the audacity to ask the listeners if they have questions about the slide that he/she just read.

7. The equipment may not be tested prior to use. Army equipment always works. Any technical failure is obviously human error and not caused by outdated, broken, malfunctioning, or just plane crappy equipment. Projectors must be at least 5 years old and may not have been test run. If a projector is proven to work reliably, it must be commandeered for personal use by a high ranking official immediately, thereby preserving the cycle of digging up old equipment.

8. The briefer must leave his screen saver enabled, so that once he/she has finally hit the one important slide in the entire presentation it turns on, locking up powerpoint, and forcing the briefer to restart either powerpoint or the whole computer. Once powerpoint is back up, he/she must spend at least 5 minutes thumbing through slides in search of the one that he/she was on when the computer locked up. Notice that the briefer did not disable the screen saver even after this incident. He/she must continue to leave the screen saver activated in order to facilitate repeats of the screen saver lockup.

9. Lastly, but most importantly, briefings must last for ridiculously long amounts of time. Soldiers are expected to be able to stay awake for days on end in combat situations, and in order to help facilitate such ability, powerpoint presentations must last at least 7 hours. If one presentation of 200 or so slides occupies an inadequate amount of time, then it must be followed by more presentations until the minimum 7 hour block is covered. If by some chance the presentation(s) do end early, the soldiers must be prohibited from leaving the briefing room until the 7 hours have passed. To insure that soldiers are actually developing their abilities to stay awake for long periods of time and are not aided in any way, all caffeinated beverage dispensers must be kept at least 2 blocks away or simply never be stocked.

These are the rules of military power point use. Hopefully you now have a greater appreciation for exactly what soldiers mean when they say that they have been subjected to "death by powerpoint". It's something akin to torture, and many would probably prefer death to such exposure.

You can probably tell that I had to tolerate some powerpoint today. The subject material was actually good and I learned a lot. But I assure you that the 8.5 hours of slideshows that I endured today was a bit much.

9 Mar 08 - Shellshocked

I was rudely woken this morning by the sound of artillery simulators going off all around our building. At first I thought that a propane tank or something had exploded. I stumbled to the door to investigate and noticed that there were actually a bunch of Air Force guys outside running around practicing administration of medical care in a combat zone. Of course this required more artillery simulators than the taliban, al-qaeda, iraq, and iran have mortars combined.

Once I realized what was going on and came to the conclusion that I wouldn't get more sleep this morning, I got in my PT (physical training) gear and went for a run.

For the rest of the day we just shopped for some gear, laid around, and played some games. A bit of a down day, I'd say.

We did have church this evening. It was nice to be able to go to church services and remember what day today really is. It's easy to forget the Lord's day when you are doing the same stuff every day of the week. So it's nice to at least dedicate a portion of that day to Him.

8 Mar 08 - WTF

I'm not even going to dignify this day with comments on the training therein received. Let's just say it could have been entirely bypassed and nobody would be worse off.

7 Mar 08 - 9mm Qual

I did the M9 (9mm pistol) qualification today. I don't want to brag but, uhghum, I'm now considered an expert marksman. That honestly doesn't mean much. I just had to hit 26 or more out of 30 stationary, midget sized targets at distances ranging from 16 to 36 meters (I got 27). Not that hard really.

It was rather comical, however, to watch the bunch of Air Force guys who qualified before us. There were 11 of them and only 3 got the required 16 or more out of 30 possible hits. Though it was funny to watch a bunch of guys shoot the ground I have to defend them to a degree. These unfortunate souls were afforded no opportunity at all (save a 10 minute briefing immediately prior to their qualification) to familiarize themselves with the M9. Only a couple of the 11 had actually held an M9 before today. I dare say, despite the almost dummy proof simplicity of the weapon, that it really wasn't their fault they shot poorly. It's really a major malfunction in their training.

6 Mar 08 - I'm back

I'm back at training. Can't say I'm super excited to be here, but I'm glad to be able to continue the training. I'm not excited for all the makeup work that I'm going to have to do to recover from my 2 day absence. Let's hope that it all goes smoothly.

4 Mar 08 - Homeward Bound

Guess what! I'm home. My request to come home, paired with a red cross message from my wife was enough for the local leadership to send me home for 2 days. I'm unbelievably grateful for this chance to help out Nikki. I have no doubt that she'd be able to cope without me, but I'm especially glad that I'm able to come home to support her.

My parents and other family members either don't know I'm home or are too far away to visit. Honestly, I like it better this way in this particular instance. I know they mean well, but I came home for my wife. I'm here to help her, and visits from random family members isn't really what we need right now. Sometimes healing just goes better when there's nobody around poking at the wound.

2 Mar 08

I found out that my wife had a miscarriage today. We really were looking forward to having our first baby. We weren't that far along in the pregnancy (9 weeks) but we were almost positive that we were going to have this baby. Nikki took the loss especially hard, but I'm sure she'll get over it. She's a lot stronger than she'd seems to think she is.

I'm really hoping that I'm allowed to go home for a couple of days to help her through this. I'm a little skeptical about my chances of being permitted to go home for this, but I'm going to push for it anyway. We'll see what happens.

28 Feb 08 - Zero

We zeroed (sighted in) our M4's today. Talk about an intensely boring part of training. Imagine sitting around for 5+ hours just so you can shoot 9 to 15 rounds at a target, then sitting around another 2+ hours for everybody else to shoot their rounds then going home. Yawn. I guess there are worse things to do. Nothing comes to mind though.

All in all, however, I am enjoying my training here. Sure it can be immensely boring. Sure we sit around and wait for intermittent flurries of activity accompanied by random individuals shouting "Go, go, go", "Now, now, now", or "Move, move, move", then wait some more. But I'm here with a great group of guys, so it's really not so bad.

26 Feb 08 - Departure

I left my lovely wife Nikki today to go to mobilization training for my upcoming trip to the middle east.

This morning there was a farewell ceremony at an air base. I dare say the ceremony was too long, a little disorganized, and drawn out. However, the fact that Nikki was able to see me off made it worth it. The governor and some other distinguished visitors saw us off.

We flew to an air base then bussed down to our training site. We spent the rest of the day unpacking, chatting, sitting around, and sleeping. Not too eventful. I did see this humorous set of signs on the wall, though.

I already miss Nikki. I guess its the realization that I won't be able to see her for a couple of months. I've spent over a month away from her already, but I guess the distance amplifies the sensation.